What’s the first sign of madness again? Suggs with a microphone in his hand… well apart from that, I think it’s supposed to be talking to yourself. But I am sure dreaming about work is somewhere in the top 10 signs to keep a look out for. Maybe not a sign of madness, more a sign that you need a holiday?
But anyway, in my dream I’m on The Apprentice. We’re in a could-be-anywhere 1980s shopping centre somewhere in the UK. We’re selling stuff. More importantly we’re selling Thinking-Cooking stuff. And – to be fair to me and my imaginary team mates (I don’t remember our team name but no doubt it was Team Intrepid or Team Terrrific or something of that ilk) we’re selling well. Things are really shifting – only I’m personally struggling to get any real sales under my belt.
I’m starting to panic, but then there’s a sudden bizarre turn of events. Our stall is full of food, for demonstrative purposes… a pile of chickens, some sausages, some fish, a bit of fresh fruit, some salad. And this guy wanders to the stall… he pulls out his wallet, takes out a wad of crisp banknotes, and offers £1k – for the food.
Smell what sells…. that’s what Lord Sugar says. Normally before adding ‘you’re fired’. So I smelt the money, took the cash, and gave him the food. And with it we won the task, after what Lord Sugar called ‘tremendous diversification on the spur of the moment’. So I survived another week… will be interesting to see if I dream the next episode.
MARK LINGARD, MARKETING